Heal Your Thyroid With Voice Consciousness

Do you ever notice your voice changing as you talk about someone you used to date, or a place you used to live?

Do you ever notice yourself speaking differently at work or at home?

Do you use a different voice when speaking to babies or pets?

Have you ever been under hypnosis and noticed a different voice?

Have you ever consciously used a different voice and then noticed it made you feel different?

If you can say "yes" to any of these, then you've experienced what it means for different aspects of yourself to have different voices. Consciously using different voices can be used as tool to explore different facets of yourself. This practice strengthens the health and integration in your throat chakra as well as creating more integration and freedom within your mind and emotional body. It is important to note that disorders involving the thyroid and lymph system along the jawline will always include a strong component of dis-integrated communications within oneself.

It is particularly good when these voices emerge naturally as part of consciousness alchemy. Allow your voice to match how you feel – that is the key. Bring your energy up from your heart through your throat and then over your tongue, past your teeth and over your lips. When you really allow your voice, you will notice that you will sound very different after a meditation, after yoga, during a co-counseling session, and while speaking from the perspective of your inner child.

These exercises may be out of your reach at first. In a situation where your emotional connection to your voice is entirely blocked, you may find any attempt at using a different voice feels fake and stupid. In these cases, it is important to start by coming to understand why this intense blockage has been created. You can begin by asking yourself the following questions.

Understanding What Blocks Your Authentic Voice

These can be done as a journal assignment or as an interview where your friend or partner asks you these questions and you answer aloud. (In the later instance they can ask these questions first-person or revise them to second-person if that makes it less confusing to you. First-person questioning sometimes gets deeper results, even when asked by an outside voice.)

• Why am I afraid to say exactly what I feel and think?
• Who am I afraid of being authentic with?
• When in my life did I use my most authentic voice?
• Who makes me feel the most able to speak freely? How does that feel?
• How does my voice change (or not change) when I'm around my parents?
• If I could have any voice I wanted, what sort of voice would I want?
• If I could say everything I always wanted to say, without consequence, what would I say?
• Do I ever sound like a child now that I'm an adult? How do I feel about that?
• What bad things would happen to me if I spoke with my most authentic self?
• What are the consequences for letting all parts of myself speak freely?

If speaking from your various internal selves authentically is an on-going struggle, consider taking each of the above questions one-at-a-time, answering one a day or one a week, giving yourself time to shift your awareness. If you're highly cut off from aspects of yourself – which we all are – then there is a good reason. These cut-off aspects were cut off because consciously or subconsciously you decided they threatened your basic needs, such as the need to feel loved and accepted. You can honor your valid reasons for creating blockages by probing slowly. Believe me, I know from much first-hand and second-hand experience what the whiplash of over-zealous spiritual growth feels like.

If you'd like to continue your growth process with my influence, please follow The Consciousness Alchemist on facebook (link below) and sign up for my mailing list (also linked below).

All Marjoram is Oregano, but not All Oregano is Marjoram

How can you tell the difference between oregano and marjoram?

Origanum Majorana – Sweet Marjoram

There are more than fifty kinds of oregano, and marjoram is just one kind. The genus name is origanum – all marjoram is oregano, but not all oregano is marjoram. Sweet marjoram (Origanum majorana) is just one variety.

While I was on Kaua'i island we had the delightful privilege of unlimited access to what was locally called "Mexican oregano" which had leaves bigger than our hands. It was easy to harvest, and rich in the chemical component that makes oregano taste like oregano – carvacrol. With a little research, I have found that it would be more accurate to call what we had there "Cuban oregano." Or perhaps it would make the most sense (since Kaua'i is a Hawai'ian island) to just call it "Hawai'ian oregano!"

This photo (below) is one I took while I was there. In the upper left of the photo you can see a plant with purple on the undersides of its leaves. That is an edible green plant called Okinawan spinach. The pointed green leaves with ruffled edges are a kind of mint. The variegated leaves (white on the edges and green in the center) that are somewhat rounded are the Cuban oregano. This photo was taken in my friends' greenhouse.

Lamiaceae – Mint

The Lamiaceae family – the mint family – includes oregano as well as basil, mint, thyme and sage. All of these plants are easily recognized by their square stems and opposing pairs of leaves. They also have whorled flower spikes.

This (below) is a photo of one of the many mints I have growing in my garden. In the upper right of the photo is giant clover which I intentionally seeded in many places in my garden to prevent the grass (the horrible weed!) from coming back.

Oregano Blooms

Recognizing marjoram in particular isn't easy. The color of the blooms isn't definitive, although marjoram tends to have white blooms, where oregano tends to have pink blooms.

Cross-breeding Oregano! Oh no!

Oregano and marjoram cross very easily when grown together, which means you may end up with some new half-marjoram variety any year. I've read that the calyx is the only definitive way to tell, which is that little swelling just below the petals of a flower; the petals appear in many cases to be growing from it. In some cases, as is often the case with oregano, the calyx is well developed and looks more interesting than the petals themselves.

When you buy your oregano, keep in mind that the original label when you buy the plant may not be correct. Just because it was labelled when you bought it doesn't mean they knew for sure either. I've bought some "sweet marjoram" – but I'm unconvinced that it is actually marjoram, particularly now that it has been in my garden for a year among many other members of the mint family. Also, sweet marjoram often doesn't live through the winter, not being as hardy as oregano, so I may not even have it anymore.

Here is some oregano from my garden (below). In the upper right of this photo you see some strawberry leaves of the ever-bearing variety (whose berries taste like strawberry jam) and on the left of this photo you see a dandelion leaf growing through the fuzzy oregano. This particular oregano variety is disappointingly mild, clearly very low in carvacrol.

In this next photo you can see more of the whole plant. This photo was taken in late April, so the dandelions were out in force, and the yellow-and-white blooms (in the lower right of the photo) are strawberries-to-be (which I've already eaten and enjoyed at the time of writing this).

The bright purple flowers to the right of the photo are grape hyacinths, a small bulb. There is also a dead-nettle beside/below the purple grape-hyacinth bloom. This, by the way, is my idea of permaculture – no monocrops for me!

Culinary Clarity

If you want to be sure for culinary reasons, sample all your different oregano plants in your kitchen side-by-side with dried versions from the grocery store. See if you can learn to detect the flavor of marjoram well enough that you recognize it in the fresh version. That is probably the most useful way. Even if you never do discover what sorts of oregano you have by name, you'll at least find out what sorts of flavors you have growing which will help you decide how to use them.

I've found this process particularly helpful with all of my varieties of thyme. I have one thyme variety that tastes more potently like oregano than more than half of my oregano varieties.

Thyme has a lot of taste overlap with oregano, containing overlapping phenols. Thymol and carvacrol, to varying degrees, are both present in both thyme and oregano. (Carvacrol can also be found in the oils of pepperwort and wild bergamot.)

In this last photo (above), you can see wooly thyme int he center of the photograph with its tiny, fuzzy leaves. In the lower right is wild, very-tasty purslane growing over and up the rocks. In the upper right is one of my many oregano varieties.

The colorful purple accents in this photo are sedums growing up through and around my thyme. The yellow stuff in the upper left of the photo is also a variety of sedum (which are not edible, but they're hardy and gorgeous). You can also see some dandelion and lamb's quarters in the upper (mostly toward the right) portion of this photograph.

Wooly thyme (Thymus pseudolanuginosus) is one of my favorites to grow because you can't get a plant any more low-growing this this tiny plant. It show-cases small flowers and plants (such as sedums and crocus) that are grown around/in it.

It is difficult to use woolly thyme in a salad because taking those little leaves off the tough stem is no fun, but it is great in juices made with a masticating juicer (such as an omega vert or the more traditional omega juicer). It also is delicious in teas.

What To Grow?

I recommend growing things of similar height together. Otherwise you'll learn the hard away that tall oregano will easily overtake your woolly thyme . . . in time! (Okay, I know that wasn't that funny.) Thyme is hardy enough to tolerate it for a while, but sage is more easily over-taken and sun-starved.

Because of the inter-breeding of these plants, I recommend spacing your oregano, mint, sage and thyme with other perennials such as strawberries, lilacs, comfrey, shasta daisies, hostas, and so on, keeping plants of similar heights together in the same bed. Strawberries make great companions for any of these herbs. Comfrey gets rather large, but can make a decent companion for oregano or mint.

Rock pathways can also be used as a separator between herb plots, but, of course, in a garden with many varieties of mint (in the general sense), interbreeding will eventually occur, given enough years. Enjoy the process and taste all your herbs again each year to rediscover and remind yourself of what you like each herb for.

~ Raederle Phoenix

I Am Multitudes, Not Monolith

In coming to embrace myself as a multitude (rather than a monolith), I've come to find myself resonating with many things that other aspects of me revile.

It is tough to teach consciousness alchemy through demonstration. Even my favorite guru, Teal Swan, a teacher of "AND Consciousness" and "the multitudes within" does not demonstrate these multitudes.

Why?

Because, after all, the followers still expect consistency within a personality. It is a strong social norm for people to remain the same person week after week. We even compliment people for being extremely "stable" or "like a rock."

What if we complimented someone for being someone different each day? It would be hard, because much of our sense of safety relies on people being consistent.

Marriage To A Multitude

Greg actually admits to me that he sometimes wakes up and wonders who he is married to today. I've been on a mission to embrace and express every forgotten piece of myself. It makes me a very changeable companion. This is one of the reasons why I argue that authentic monogamy already is polyamory. If you're honest and open with your selves, you've already got a complex relationship with yourself that you're navigating in addition to your relationship with this "one other person" – who has a complex relationship with themselves. (Read: Polyamory? What's wrong with monogamy?)

I used to value reliability above almost all else. Now I value presence and intuition more. I worry sometimes that this means I'm becoming some "new age flake" – as if the "new age" types don't have a bad enough reputation as it is. Worse, fears sometimes masquerade themselves as intuitive notions, and so sometimes I (and others like myself) think I'm choosing to step down from something because it is the best thing for me, but really I'm just too afraid to go forward.

But why so much fear? Because tapping into the multitudes within requires intense vulnerability. To see oneself clearly one has to let the old wounds be exposed to the open air. This brings up massive piles of shame, fear, anger, helplessness, resentment, and despair, some of it going all the way back to infancy. (Read: Developmental Trauma for more on that.)

Lately I've been tapping into aspects of myself that felt betrayed as an infant. I didn't feel well and I didn't yet understand I was in a reality where telepathy wasn't the norm. I couldn't understand why others were not doing for me what was needful. I was desperate, helpless, angry, and resentful. I needed to be taken care of, but nobody understood my wailing.

Tapping into this aspect of myself to find healing for it in my daily life now means falling into that same helplessness. It is incredible how real it feels. Sometimes I lose my ability to speak and my throat becomes so choked up that breathing hurts. I used to fear that symptoms like that were of some physical origin – germs or poor diet. Now I've finally unmasked enough of myself to dig into the undercover feelings that are becoming physical symptoms.

Shame

Shame causes my throat to hurt and makes it hard for me to speak. This shame is what leads specifically to helplessness and an inability to ask for help. It runs deep, causing my throat glands to swell, and often they stay swollen long after everything else has cleared up. This is because the shame has lived on in me – the original shame, and then the shame for getting sick. At least, that was the reality when I was a child and teen.

Anger

Anger causes my back to hurt, especially around my shoulder-blades. When trying to exert self-control over my anger, I feel my shoulder-blades clench tight, as if I'm trying to hold a pencil on my back. Anger also impacts my liver and the lymph channels around my eye-brows.

Fear

Fear stops my digestive system from working properly. I suspect the fear is actually causing the bacteria in my gut to become afraid, thereby causing it to attack the food rather than digesting it. Fear is what gave me stomach ulcers twelve years ago. (More about that here.)

Jealousy

Jealousy gives me nausea and dizziness.

Self-Denial, Lying & Inauthenticity

Denying myself (lying to myself or lying to others through omission of my authentic truth) gives me a fever. Extreme avoidance of myself gives me an extreme fever complete with shakes, muscle soreness, and chills. When the fever comes, only intense self-focus gives me the sweat-down; and the self-focus does this immediately. The sweat-down begins the moment I fully focus on myself. And the moment my conscious mind wanders away, the fever is back.

Stress

Forcing myself to be in "up time" where I am present with my external reality and with other people when I desperately want to just be with myself gives me migraines. (Yes, those headaches so bad where even a single L.E.D. light twenty feet away causes stabbing pain through my head.)

Multi-Dimensional Point . . . (Oxymoronic Pun Intended)

What's my point? Well, I believe I have many points – many planes – many aspects of self in three-dimensions and in four (or five, or six, or twelve). But really, what inspired this post is how difficult it is to be authentic when our culture doesn't recognize that every single one of us actually holds many contradictory beliefs. We're all walking contradictions.

Yet people will demand to know "how you really feel" and will tell you that you can't "have it both ways." But that's nonsense. Your real feelings absolutely will contradict each other. If you believe you feel only one way about a subject then you have relegated something to your unconscious where you can't consciously access it.

And you can, absolutely, have it both ways.

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Why polyamory? What's wrong with monogamy?

Let me start with the cliché – what is love? This trite question has all kinds of answers. Personally, I've found that it is important to distinguish between unconditional love – god's love, enlightened love, etc – and the typical "every day" love as we know it.

What is unconditional love?

Unconditional love is pure appreciation. Unconditional love has no judgments, resentments, or barter. Most of us have only tasted unconditional love for brief bursts of time. Even parents have conditions on the expression of their love to their children.

What is conventional love?

Our typical love is all about investments and attachments. The more invested we are in someone, the more attachment we have to them – the more we have "at stake" in our relationship with them. When we say we "love" someone, usually what we mean is that we have a tremendous fear of losing our investment in that someone. We come to invest in people that we see high potential in, because we know there will be a good payout on our investment. There is nothing wrong with this. Rumi says that all kinds of love are worth-while, and that the "lesser" kinds are part of our path toward the enlightened, unconditional kind.

Truly, regardless of what Rumi or anyone says, my experience tells me that love is the most worthwhile part of life. I'm sure most of you will agree, particularly parents. I've often thought I wanted to give birth to many children to love. I'm not so sure that I do anymore, seeing as how I've learned the deadly truth about my own capacity for resentment. But if not children, then where to cultivate love in my life?

For me, my most profound love has always included sexuality. I've struggled deeply to find connection with people who I was entirely platonic with. It is an ongoing struggle for me – a struggle that I've stopped struggling with. That is, I am finally starting to accept my own voracious sexuality. I've learned that there really isn't a clear line between friendship and romance.

We're taught by society at large that we're only allowed to romantically, intimately love one person. But how sensible is that, really? Considering that parents love multiple children, and we often love multiple siblings, and we often love multiple friends – clearly love isn't something we share with just one person.

And what does it mean to be romantic or intimate with someone anyway?

What is romance?

Romance, as far as I can tell, is desirable manipulation. It is an agreement to be sweet, kind, and bubbly if spoken to in your love language. Someone who likes the love-language of 'service' best, will be manipulated romantically best through chores, errands, and other favors. Someone who prefers 'words of affection' will be romantically manipulated best through poetry, song, or simple well-considered words and/or love letters. And so on. Romance is manipulation – in a very good way!

What is intimacy

Intimacy is seeing deeply into someone. It is recognizing who someone is on a profound level. In some ways, this writing I'm doing now is inviting you to be intimate with me. I'm giving you a peek into my heart. I very much cherish romance and intimacy both!

If society is telling us that we can only be romantic or intimate with a single soul mate, it is no wonder so many of carry around a terrible burden of shame, because real friendship – even completely non-sexual friendship – is often both romantic and intimate. In fact, as far as I can tell, the best friendships are definitely both. A good friend fulfills needs – listening to your problems, being there for you, and speaking to you in your love language at appropriate times. A good friend knows whether or not you prefer gifts or a foot rub, and will be there to exchange displays of love.

What is the difference between true friendship and your soul mate according to monogamy culture?

After outlining the above, what is left to separate that "one special person" from "everyone else in your life"?

Sexuality. That's all monogamy can really dictate that you're allowed to do with just one person. Because how can we not have romance and intimacy with good friends and family? What would be the point of human connection at all if we couldn't support one another emotionally, come to understand one another, and connect on multiple levels?

If sexuality is what defines your one special person as your one special person, then it seems vital to ask:

What is sexuality?

Touching and suckling breasts can be considered sexual. Or it could be something a baby does to its mother.

Kissing can be considered sexual. Or it could be something one does when one greets one's grandmother.

Dressing in lacy, revealing clothing can be considered sexual. Or it could be part of a child's dance recital.

Being whipped and spanked can be considered sexual. Or it could be childhood punishment. Or domestic abuse.

Even making babies can happen in a doctor's office with a syringe these days!

Now, obviously, there are things that are more inescapably sexual acts, particularly when context is added, but my point is this: Sexuality doesn't have clearly defined boundaries. Neither does friendship. Neither does romance or intimacy. Neither does love itself.

All the limits we find on love are imagined. The limits of our relationships are contrived. There can be sexuality without romance, or romance without sexuality. There can be love without marriage, or marriage without love. There can be friendship with intimacy or without, with romance or without, with sex or without.

Relationships are boundless, limitless things. That puts the normal monogamy paradigm in a new light, doesn't it?

I invite you to explore your own relationship with relationships. Ask these questions of yourself, and have your partner(s) ask these questions of themselves. Then share your answers. Or, do this with friends for an intimate evening of heart-sharing!

• How have you been limiting your love and restricting your relationships?
• Who are you limiting or restricting your relationships for?
• What are the costs?
• What are the benefits?
• Do you feel that you’re able to be your authentic self in all of your relationships?
• How do you define a friendship?
• How do you define a spouse?
• How do you define a family member?
• What do you want most in your relationships?

~ Raederle

The Consciousness Alchemist

Ask Raederle: My girlfriend has been polyamorous behind my back!?

Ask Raederle

Question: My girlfriend has been dating others behind my back. Should I give polyamory a try?

I have been dating a girl for about a year. I was brought up being taught that monogamy is right. After dating my current girlfriend for 11 months I found out that she had dated several other guys throughout our relationship. I was upset and hurt. I felt like I wasn't that important to her and told her so.
She said she loved me but has always liked having more than one partner. She feels that people can love more than one person in a romantic way. She didn't tell me that about herself because she thought I wouldn't be with her if I'd known.
Do you think it was wrong of her to hide her polyamory from me and date other people without me knowing?
Should give that type of a relationship a chance?
Do you think it selfish of me to expect her to be monogamous because I have always been that way?
I talked to a friend of mine who said that morality is subjective, and that I should try to accept how my girlfriend is if I truly love her – which I do. She also said that my girlfriend had a right to date others and show affection because I don't own my girlfriend and can't dictate how and who she shows affection to.
My girlfriend said I can date other girls but I have no desire to do so. I feel weird that she is still dating another guy; I am growing to accept it but sometimes it still hurts.
Do you think monogamy and polyamory are learned ways of thinking? Or are they genetic?
I want to continue being with her and hope I can learn to accept how she wants our relationship to be. She's so important to me and can't see myself without her. I don't want to be selfish or controlling with her and push her away.
If I decide I don't want to date other girls in the future, should I not expect her to be the same?
I'd really like to know your opinion cause you seem like a very enlightened and intelligent person.
— B. D.

Answer: You don't have to be polyamorous just because your girlfriend is.

I think it was wrong of her to hide it from you. Relationships depend on trust. How can you trust someone if they've lied to you and hidden part of their life from you? Even if she identifies as polyamorous, she was still cheating on you, because she made an agreement with you that was monogamous from your standpoint and never mentioned that it might not be monogamous until eleven months into the relationship. There is no question that she broke her monogamous agreement with you and deceived you.

That said, that doesn't mean you should necessarily give up on the relationship. The fact that you wrote to me about it shows me that you love her very much and she must be a very amazing woman that you've taken this blow and still want to make things work.

I can see why she made the choice she did. She started to fall for you, but knew you were unfamiliar with polyamory and not ready for it. So she deceived you so that she could be with you and still maintain her romantic freedom behind your back. Now that she has opened up to you about it, she is doing so in faith that you'll come around and understand. I think it is safe to assume she very much wants your acceptance and forgiveness for her deception.

Trying to convince her to be monogamous would be meeting a wrong with another wrong. When someone comes to discover that polyamory is what they want, and they authentically feel that they need that, trying to change their mind is only going to drive an unfortunate wedge between you. If monogamy is what you want, and polyamory is what she wants, you may still both be able to have what you want.

Poly-Mono Relationships

There are such things as mono-poly relationships. My parents have one. My dad is polyamorous, and my mom is monogamous. My mom doesn't want anyone but my dad. She isn't interested in a sexual relationship at her age and is more interested in her garden than new deep connections. My dad is ten years younger and in excellent health and wants a highly active sex life and new, deep connections. So they talked about it – for months, and years – and they've now settled into being a transparently mono-poly couple. My dad brings girlfriends home to play board games (which my mom loves) and my mom does other things when he goes out dancing or stays out late with his girlfriend.

Another example is a woman who came to the polyamory gathering I attended this past the weekend. She is monogamous, but her partner is poly and has another girlfriend who also came to the gathering. She doesn't think she wants any more partners herself, but she wants to be with her partner over the long weekend, share in his experiences and learn more about his perspective. Another woman who was at the gathering this weekend mentioned that she had started out the same way – attending the gathering as a monogamous person, but now she has multiple partners and loves being polyamorous. She still struggles with jealousy at times, but many people (such as myself) identify strongly with polyamory yet still feel jealousy frequently.

Is polyamory versus monogamy a question of genetics?

In humans, I believe that relationship style is a choice we can make. Some cultures are very open to different marriage arrangements and consider it normal for a monogamous marriage to add a new husband or wife, or for a polyamorous marriage to divide up into monogamous pairings.

Read my article: Why polyamory? Why not monogamy?

However, people have other aspects of themselves – besides what they were taught about relationships– that play into how well suited to monogamy or polyamory.

People who prefer a lot of quiet, zen-like project activities may often be less suited to having multiple partners because they simply want too much time to themselves to have multiple deep relationships. Of course, some poly people don't have any deep relationships. Some have an array of surface relationships that are more about having activities they enjoy doing together than they are about connecting their values, hearts and dreams in a meaningful way.

For me, I'm only interested in relationships that have a high degree of depth, and so considering how much of my energy and time it already takes to have two husbands, I think I will reach my limit when I have three partners. For some people, their max simply may be one person.

B. D. Replies

I think I agree with you when you said she shouldn't have hid it from me about what she wants. I can understand why she did though. Maybe she did the right thing because if she had told me right away I probably wouldn't have accepted it. I got to know her and fell for he, so when I found out I was willing to give it a chance.
The other guys she's dated did know about me and they were polyamorous as well.
I think most likely I wouldn't date other girls so it would be a mono-poly relationship for me.
I have met one of the people she likes and it was weird at first but he actually was nice and I actually like him as a friend.
My girlfriend explained that she likes being close to people with different personalities and interests and who all have different ways of showing affection towards her. She said she thinks she would get bored with only one partner and that it would ruin the relationship but having more she said makes her appreciate the differences in each and keep it exciting.
She did admit that sex is a big reason. That hurt. I know that she did that before I was aware. Her friends knew, and they never told me. I don't know if I'm mad at her friends or not. I feel strange around them.
I really didn't know much about polyamory before I found out she was. It's actually way more common than I would have thought. At least she knows a lot of people around where we live who feel how she does.
— B. D.

Raederle's Reply

B. D.,

It is interesting for me to hear your side of this. I've wondered if I should try meeting people without them knowing about my two husbands and easing them into discovering polyamory – afterall, the dating pool of people who are already polyamorous is fairly small in comparison to the general population.

I'm very pleased to see how well you're handling this. Your connection with your girlfriend must be very strong to have withstood the "big reveal".

Your girlfriend brought up a good point when she mentioned that she likes having different partners with different ways of showing affection. There are many different love languages – touch, words of affirmation, gifts, money, quality time, acts of service and being a good listener. To feel loved regularly in all of those different languages isn't something we can expect from monogamy. In a monogamous relationship we can expect to receive love from our partner in the ways that come naturally to them, and in the ways we clearly communicate that we need. But we can't expect all methods to come naturally to all individuals. Having multiple loving relationships dramatically increases the likelihood of getting all of one's physical, emotional and psychological needs met.

Sex is a big reason for me as well. My first husband (who I've been with since 2009) and I have struggled with being sexually incompatible. Meeting my newer husband (in 2015) helped our relationship tremendously by providing me with a sex life I enjoyed, taking the pressure and guilt off of my first husband. Having unmet sexual needs in a relationship creates a lot of pain for everyone involved, so it can be a major relief to have other options.

There will likely be more challenges for you along the way. Coming to terms with jealousy and where it comes from for you will be a journey. For many, it is a very difficult journey. But it is rewarding, because you get to know yourself and deepen your relationship with yourself through the journey.

— Raederle
The Consciousness Alchemist

Have a question for Raederle? Visit my contact page.

Where is Spiritual Evolution taking us?

If you and twenty other people got in a tour bus in St. Augustine, Florida and then headed north to Atlanta, Georgia, and then further north to Cary, North Carolina, and then on to Philadelphia, and then New York City, and finally on to Boston, what part of the trip would be most important? Would you put Boston on a pedestal because it was the last stop?

Would you conclude that Boston was more important than Atlanta because it was the furthest part of the tour?

When we talk about being "more evolved" or further along our "spiritual path" that does not make us "better" than people who are not where we are. The object isn't to rush ourselves as quickly as possible back into the absolute embrace of oneness. We're material beings because we chose to be. We're at the place we're at because we chose to be.

Just as the point of life isn't to rush to eighty-years-old (or a hundred, or two-hundred), the point of spiritual development isn't to "get farther" or "go higher" or become "better than".

Relativity, Discernment & Judgment

Relativity does exist in our material plane, because it has to. So there are people who are better suited to certain kinds of work. There are things that would be better to do in St. Augustine and things that would be better to do in Boston. If you're looking for sunshine in February, go to St. Augustine. If you're looking for ice skating, go to Boston.

The moment you judge anything at all, you're experiencing relativity. Discernment – language itself – is all about separating one thing from another. Oneness is a great truth; we're here to explore every single facet of what "not oneness" is. Achieving oneness with our consciousness is a great achievement – it feels good. Yet it is no more exalted to achieve oneness in consciousness than it is to experience hatred – from the perspective of oneness. Because within oneness is all. All includes hatred.

It is hard to wrap our heads around it because our heads are designed to discern, separate, and judge. To experience oneness, we have to get out of heads. We have to go out of our minds. We even have to get out our hearts for full oneness, because our hearts shy away from pain and go toward what feels good. The master of oneness consciousness does not even shy away from things that hurt or feel painful.

We exalt our masters of oneness, but we do a poor job of living by their teachings – our own teachings. Our ego wants to find ways to become better than everyone and everything else around us, even if we have to be the best at being humble to do so. If you really didn't believe your way was a better way, you would change.

That's okay. Everybody's way is okay. Including the ways of violence and abuse – from the perspective of oneness.

Your Head, Heart & Body

But remember – your head and heart are not oneness. Your consciousness is oneness, but your body is not. And doesn't it make sense to protect and honor your head, heart and body? Why mistreat them or disregard them? When your heart speaks out against something – do listen! Do not rationalize it away as "unimportant in the absolute sense." That sort of rationalization is just fear talking – fear of taking action clothed in spiritual truth.

If there is any sort of blasphemy, it is clothing our absolute truths around fear and using them as an excuse to not take action in our own defense. Radical acceptance isn't about taking life sitting down. Learning to embrace your neighbor isn't about condoning things that feel wrong to you. Speak your truth and let others speak theirs. And if theirs doesn't agree with yours . . . Then you have to seek your highest calling in that moment to guide you. The only single rule I can give you for how to guide your actions is Presence.

Be Present

Be present with your thoughts. Observe them. Be present with your heart. Feel your emotions. Let them flow. Notice every part of your body and be alert for the tiniest changes in your perceptions. Use all five of your senses and then use even more of your senses. Be present with your aspirations and inspirations. Be present with your dreams when you awaken in the morning. Be present with those you cherish most. Be present with your values. Be present with your actions. Be present with your breathing.

When you are present with all of these things that I have listed (and more), you become a master of discernment. You begin to read body language effortlessly. Subtle hints in tone of voice are unveiled. The mysteries of nature begin to weave their way into your intuitive understandings. You begin to trust your intuition because it becomes stronger and more reliable. When you are fully present the things that you really want become clear. The things that need to be eliminated from your life become clear.

From my discernment, from my material-plane understanding, from my highest calling of head, heart and body – I believe presence is our highest spiritual practice. Presence is the practice of embracing life fully, as a material being with a head, heart and body. And I judge that beautiful. Amen.

So what are the next steps?

• Learning tools to become more present.
• Putting forward new cultural norms that serve the highest calling of our material and spiritual values.

For these two steps, I'd like to present to you two further articles: Learning deeply about oneself through consciousness alchemy.
Generating a living culture and leaving behind the cultural norms that are currently hurting us.

~ Raederle

The Consciousness Alchemist

Living Culture Movement

Cultural norms in America include:

• Asking a woman if you can buy her a drink in a bar
• Greeting someone with a handshake
• Having conversations over lunch or dinner
• Whistling when something is surprising (like an attractive woman or a large bill in the mail)
• Chewing on one's lip when uncertain
• Speaking in euphemisms and hyperbole rather than literally (i.e. "It went a hundred miles over her head")

For every "norm" you'll find hundreds of exceptions, but that's not the point. America, like all other countries in the world, has its own culture. It varies from city to city, state to state. Some of our norms are also the norm in other countries. Most cultures today include talking over food. Very few places have a custom of silent eating, or eating alone. These cultural norms define what we expect when we socialize. They give us an idea of what is considered "okay" and "good" and what is considered "not acceptable" and "bad." When we follow the cultural rules well, we are rewarded with acceptance by the majority of people we encounter. You're relying on them and they're relying on you – to follow society norms so that both of you can rest assured that your behavior is "good."

But what happens when social norms aren't serving you? What about norms that are explicitly hurting or excluding people?

Many books illustrate how today's norms are not as beneficial as they could be. Ishmael and The Continuum Concept are two such books which I highly recommend. Here is an illustration of my own: In today's culture it is normal to offer to share treats with anyone in the room. This tradition goes back to a time before refined sugars were so widely available. It goes back to a time when a "treat" might have been an orange, a sweet potato or a banana. A treat might have been honey-covered nuts at worst. (While nuts and honey both offer health benefits, eating them together is rough on the digestive system.) A treat today can be a lump of chemicals with no food anywhere to found within it. And while you wouldn't offer someone suffering from an addiction to alcohol a shot of vodka, it is perfectly normal to offer sugar addicts a dough-nut. This is one example of how a cultural norm hurts people rather than helping them.

Another example: Sage smudging. This is a practice taken up by many alternative spiritual communities that are springing up to honor and worship in ancient ways. But with so many people developing fume and chemical sensitivities, there are a growing body of people who can't tolerate smoke (myself included). This practice of sage smudging has beautiful origins. However, it comes from a time when the air was pristine, and chemicals were not a part of our lives. In that environment breathing in some smoke wasn't a big deal. In today's crowded cities and chemical-laden environments, adding smoke doesn't increase the spirituality of an experience. This practice (and the practice of burning incense) excludes people who would otherwise love to participate in these spirit-based events.

And, a third example: Silences are considered awkward. Whenever we're in a group, we're expected to all compulsively talk to one another – or all silently tap at our phones. This constant stream of social input – vocal or digital – leaves no room for group introspection. Once upon a time, people could go for a long walk in nature or spend the day fishing and have long silences that were about introspection and absorption of experience. Today these comfortable, introspective silences are much rarer and harder to find. Because of this, our communication is more cluttered up with idle thoughts, logistical questions, and data-based exchanges. We're spending more time talking about unexamined opinions and less time actually having experiences worth talking about. I'm not saying this is everybody, or even you, but it is a growing trend, and an unfortunate one.

Cultural norms fade in and out of dominance or existence altogether over time. In the chart below I've outlined features of the Dying Culture – the existing culture's ways of hurting us, and it's opposing force, the Living Culture – the cultural facets we can normalize to increase our harmony with one another and the earth.

Cultures	Dying Culture	Living Culture
Yards:	Lawns, non-fruiting shrubs and trees	Food-bearing gardens of rambling beauty
Love Languages:	Largely unrecognized	Used as a simple basis for how to give more effectively to one another
Food:	40% corn, wheat, soy, other grains; 40% animal products; 15% sugar, caffeine; 5% vegetables, fruits, nuts	40% vegetables; 40% fruits; 20% nuts, seeds; 5% other; 70%+ raw foods
Attitude:	Assuming Knowing that you're right	Asking Curiosity toward others
Partying:	Drinking, bars, smoking, rough-housing, late nights	Board games, fresh juices, kombucha, starting early, starting uninhibited and authentic from the outset
Needs:	Feeling ashamed for having needs	Expressing needs and having them taken seriously
Group conversation:	Competing for your turn to speak	Subtly directing others to bring out what you're curious about, and what makes them most excited
Emotional expression:	Compulsively smiling, regardless of mood	Authentic expression of emotions, including sadness and anger
Minorities:	Majority rules over the minority	Space is made for the minority to have their needs met
Radical ideas:	Shamed	Heard, considered
Creativity:	Tolerated, sometimes accepted	Nurtured, encouraged
Inspired feelings/actions:	Approached with skepticism, criticism	Met with encouragement and enthusiasm
Efficiency:	Achieved through specialization, hurrying, pinching pennies	Achieved through diversity, inspired enthusiasm, consciousness
Intuition:	Largely ignored, dismissed	Used as a basis for making sound decisions
Spirituality:	Religious dogma or atheism	Life-affirming awareness of self and synchronicities
Conversations:	Centered around movies, politics, weather, famous people, personal gripes	Centered around personal transformation, inspiring stories, healing/sustaining practices, current feelings
Experimentation:	Feared	Embraced
Therapy:	Endless sessions with little progress, anti-depressants and other drugs	Consciousness Alchemy